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EDUCATION:

       Love  is  the  base  for  healthy  relationship.  Marriage  is  a  partnership  of  love;  the preparation  mainly  consists  in  education  to  love.  In  practice  love  involves  a  lot  of  self sacrifice. Genuine (real) love is not a mere romantic feeling, but a profound disposition (character) to give oneself to the beloved and seek his/her good.

                               

        Education to love in marriage also implies acquiring the right attitudes towards sex

and a habit of self-control. Youngsters should be given accurate scientific information on

functioning  of  the  genital organs.  They  must be  provided with  an  understanding of the meaning of human sexuality as an expression of marital love. 

CHOOSING A PARTNER: 

Some general principles about choosing a partner:

·   Both must have common values-personal/social/spiritual. It is very very important.

·   If  partner  is  good  (character)  and  if  you  feel  that  he  is  match  for  you,  don’t consider  any  other  thing  i.e.  religion,  caste,  background  etc  because  they  are

nothing in life.You are the one who had to lead the entire life, neither your parents

nor your friends.

·   You should respect the man/woman you marry.

·   Never get into relation who is different from you.

·    Never  choose  a  person  who  has  the  habits  like  alcoholism,  drugs,  gambling, cheating, etc.

·   Don’t marry someone who is looking for a mother.

·    He/she  should  be  at  least  as  intelligent  as  you  are  or  on  a  level  to  converse easily.

·    Financial  stability  of  the  husband  in  order  to  provide  the  basic  needs  for  the family, independent of wife’s salary if she is working.

·   Never marry the one who loves you by your appearance or for your property.

REASONS FOR UNHAPPY MARRIAGE:

·   Lack of adjustment to the situation i.e. at the time of problems.

·   Conflicts in values like money.

·   Conflicts in family relationships, friendly relations etc.

·   Family planning differences.

·   Alcoholism/wife beating/drugs/gambling/keeping relationship with outsiders.

·   Conflict in religion/caste/spiritual aspects.

·   Conflict In leisure/budgeting

·   Conflict due to misunderstandings’, hurting others feelings etc.

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MATURITY:

           In  simple  words  maturity  is  something  like ability.  If  we  go  in  deep  we have physical maturity and mental maturity. Both play important role in the marriage.Maturity possesses self-identity and the ability to live harmoniously in satisfactory

inter-personal relationship with others.

 Maturity  implies  experiencing  oneself  as  a  person  and  regarding  the  other  as a

person. It is ability to enter into ‘I-THOU’ relationship.

           Marriage  is  not  for  children;  it  is  for  grown-ups.  Two  mature  persons  are  calledupon  to  enter  a  deep  and  life-long  partnership.  According  to  Child  Marriage  Restraint Act, the legal minimum age is 21 for boys and 18 for girls. Along with age maturity  real personal maturity is needed.

PREPARATION:

       Every vocation requires suitable training or preparation. Marriage is basic vocation

to a life-long partnership and to parenthood that needs lot of preparation. The pair that is going  to  get  married  and  their  family  members  must  tune  their  mind  according  to  the consequences  after  the  marriage.  The  pair  needs  greater  preparation  to  face  the

stress and strain of life.  

ATTITUDE:

It  is  very  much  necessary  for  the  boys  and  the  girls  to  know  the  psycho-sexual reaction and the behavior of the other sex. 

           A  woman  is  sexually  aroused  slowly.  She  desires  or  accepts  sexual  intimacies only as a term of an emotional relationship and as an expression of that relationship. The effects of sexual experience are much deeper and long lasting in a girl. The man tends

more easily to change partners, but woman cant they can assume any other in their life.

       A man is sexually aroused more easily and rapidly. Once aroused he is concerned

about the culmination i.e. result that will  relieve his sexual tension. When satisfied, the

desire falls equally rapidly. 

       If you fail to realize these elementary facts it can create a lot of misunderstanding or

trouble, especial y for the girls.

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In  this  world  there  are  many  relations  which  relate  or  tie  different  persons.  To

survive in this world everyone is dependent on others directly or indirectly i.e. by using

the relations. 

           Marriage  is  an  intimate  partnership  of  love  that  is  spiritual,  emotional  and

physical. Marriage fulfills in a special way the basic need the men and women have to

love and to be loved. Marriage does not mean it’s only an affair between two individuals,

or  that  is  meant  only  for  their  personal  fulfillment.  There  should  be  a  proper  balance

between the two.

         Marriage is a vocation. The partners receive a sacred call to commit themselves to

each other, to build up their relation amidst the stresses and strains of life, to dedicate

themselves  together  to  bring  up  their  children  and  to  bring  their  contribution  to  the

building up of harmony and peace in the family as well  as in the society.

         Marriage  is  the  only  relation  that  is  used  to  tie  up  man  and  woman. Hence  

relationship between a man and a woman is qualitatively different from that between a

man and a man, or a woman and a woman.

         Since India is a vast country we follow different cultures. Marriage can be done in

different  ways:  exchanging  rings,  tying  holy  thread,  register  marriage,  exchanging

garlands, placing bind-hi (kumkuma) on forehead, etc. All carry the same weight.

          Marriage is a basic vocation to life-long partnership and parenthood. The intimate

partnership  of  love  in  not  meant  to  remain  sterile.  It  is  by  nature  directed  to  the

procreation  of  children  i.e.  giving  birth.  The  child  is  the  substantial  and  permanent symbol  of  the  creative  love  between  the  parents.  By  giving  birth  the  job  was  not completed, there should be common dedication to bring up the children. It is a maturing and integrating experience.

            There  are  many  things  which  should  be  taken  into  consideration  before

entering  into  this  holy  relation.  Try  to  understand  why  i am  stressing  much  on  this, because even if a single point is ignored, your life will to end somewhere.